Layer 5: Distorsion

The life that I thought could handle is destroying me... Looking back, things look so much easier... there were so many things I wanted to do, so much dessire, so much faith, so much ambition... now I feel stuck, paralized. I can't move, I'm afraid... I don't know what I'm afraid of, but is that fear what keeps me from doing the things I want to do. I can't help it... I'm afraid I'll be caught again. I can't loose again, I'm not that strong... and this peace, this state of acceptance and tolerance... of finally learning to respect myself and the desitions that everyone made; this forced comfortability is not helping me anymore... I feel like I depend on a shadow, a memory, a wish, nothing real... this state of blindness is making me go back to old habits that I was sure I had destroyed.



Anyway, I feel this from time to time, but I try not to pay too much attention to it... I try to laugh more, is what keeps sane among the real crazy ones...