We Aren't Angels

If you close your eyes, I'm sure you'll remember
the moment your life awakened

A song of blessing
echoed through the world,
gently leading
to the brilliant light.

You are here
to convey the miracle
that everyone forgot as time went by.



We aren't angels, so
in the midst of the pain of living,
when we look our own weakness in the eyes,
we begin to realize the meaning of gentleness.

Don't fake the smile you give to others.
Sincerely
letting your tears flow is also courage

We aren't angels, but
we can spread the wings called courage,
and embrace each other with a definite warmth,
instead of with the sorrow engraved on our hearts.

Confusion

I can't, I don't want to... I want to go back to that day and live it over and over again... but I know it was just one time, and probably out of pity... should I thank or should I hate? I don't care, it won't happen again for sure. It cannot happen again. Look at me now: faking, always faking; coldness, false pride and rejection towards everybody and everything; if they only knew what really lies in my mind... if they could hear my thoughts... they'd hate me as much as I hate them and yet love them and need them... why can't things be simpler?

We need to talk

Hey everyone! I found this on a blog while looking around and I found it quite interesting. I hope the guy who wrote this doesn't mind... :S

A conversation with my inner depression/doubt/anxiety:

Hello.
Oh, it's you. How unimpressive.
We need to talk.
Bored already. Are we done yet?
You've been responsible for much of the pain in my life for some time.
Oh sure. Blame me. The fact that you're fat, stupid, ugly, and unlovable has absolutely NOTHING to do with it.
Let me talk. Throughout my life, I've sought validation from other people because I couldn't find it in myself. You're responsible for that.
You're fat. You're stupid. You're ugly. You're lazy. You have no friends.
I do have friends, actually. I'm blogging to them right now. Therefore, you're wrong, and probably about everything. And that brings me to why I'm here. I'm letting you go.
Sh'yeah right. How many times have you said THAT one.
I mean it. I don't know if I'll ever be happy. But as long as you're around, I won't be. I'm leaving.
Remember high school? College? Everyone around you is always hooking up and breaking up and you are left alone. You know it is you, right? It can't be anybody else. The rest of the world is not at fault.
Yes. I brought it on myself. The feelings of inadequacy, the lack of confidence, and need for external validation. That's over now.
They all say that. You love the safety of defeat and the comfort of self-pity. Without me, who are you?
I'm me, and I'm better. Anyway, I've said what I wanted. Good-bye.
Wait. Don't leave. Without you, I'll be...
Nothing. You'll be nothing. Good-bye.
I'll always be there in the background. In the base of your spine. The moment you've achieved that happiness you seek, I will leap out and ruin it for you.
Only if I let you. Which I won't. Good-bye.
Wait. Please don't leave me here...alone...in the dark.

(The door closes. The End)

Let your essence breath

"We are who we are"

If it runs in your blood, it will be hard to give up to it. If it's part of your essence then it'll be hard to change it. We are who we are, even if the way we are seems quite out of place, if we find joy in that personality then it can't be that bad. Sometimes I feel that I should be more quiet or less wild and impulssive, but I know that that's how I am and it'd be really hard to change it if I wanted to. I know I'd feel bored and opressed if I tried to be more like some girls that I know, because I wouldn't be being myself.

Even if it's depression and low self-esteem what forms your character, if you feel proud of who you are and you wouldn't trade positions with anybody, then it can't be that bad. And you'll see that if you try to give up to it, you'll realise that you're not being faithful to yourself; you'd be lying to yourself.



"Instead of questioning the way you are all the time, embrace your good qualities and try to make up for all your faults"

That is how I feel. I have learnt to accept myself the way I am, and I know that I may come and go, improve or get worse, but my essence, this contradictory crazy and dreamy girl will always remain; she will always live in the very essence of my soul and heart.

Some Quizes Results!

Yes, people! I DO have free time to do these things... so what? ^^ Anyway, if you have some free time and are just too bored check them out and do some funny quiz. They give you the codes to put them in your blogs. Naty :)


You are Snoopy!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
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Your Stripper Info by radioface
first name
age
Stripper Name:	Kandy
Specialty:	scoring lapdance customers
Customers say:	"What a great arse!"
Quiz created with MemeGen!

What Icon Are You? by someoneicantbe
Name
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Your Icon Is...
Quiz created with MemeGen!

I'm Asuka!!! :)

Which Evangelion Child Are You?

My Crime

I am guilty of commiting a crime against myself...

I had to kill it; it was strangling me. I couldn't breath, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't even live.



I just got too tired of living for it. I now live for myslef only.

"However, I should warn you, that out of this action nothing good can come. For there is no greater crime and with worse consequences than that commited to your own essense"

Take Care of Yourself

The Beast that shouted "I" at the heart of the World

"Why am I forced to this? Not again... "
"Oh, yes, once more, whether you like it or not..."

Hay que poner las cosas en su lugar. Pienso en mí, sólo en mí. Bueno, quizás también un poco en los demás pero yo voy a salir beneficiada realmente. Quisiera que no fuera así, pero esta es la parte de mi realidad que no puedo cambiar, asique mejor la acepto y le saco el mayor provecho posible.

Todo por mí. Si nadie se preocupa por mi sufrimiento entonces yo me voy a dedicar a hacerme bien, y para eso hay que ajustar ciertas cosas que no estan funcionando. Y sólo por mi, porque me lo merezco. Sí, me quiero, me acepto, me respeto y me lo merezco. Me merezco que las cosas me salgan bien y me merezco ser feliz. Siempre creí que los demás me odiaban y me tenían lástima por muchas cosas que me tocaron pasar. Ahora sé que en realidad yo me odiaba y yo me tenía lástima...

Se terminó acá esto.

"No more submission to pathetic illusions that gave me nothing but heartaches and emptiness of soul... No more exhaustive searching and exhausting waiting..."
"Well said. I love you..."

El Arte de Tomar Desiciones

Vivimos tomando desiciones, es inevitable. Y eso es porque existen infinitas oportunidades, y no siempre podemos tenerlas todas, por eso hay que decidir. Pero al decidir siempre perdemos algo, algo que otra de las opciones podría habernos dado, y como no podemos tener ese algo más lo que ya elegimos, entonces ese algo parece aún más deseable.



El tema es ver de qué cosas realmente podemos prescindir, sin qué cosas no podríamos vivir. Al elegir algo siempre vamos a tener que descartar otras cosas que también queríamos, y por eso es tan difícil elegir, y por eso tanta gente lo evita, porque quieren tenerlo todo, pero de eso se trata: ganamos por un lado pero siempre nos van a quitar del otro. Sabiendo eso, hay que tomar la desición que nos complete lo más posible, y cada vez que añoremos lo que no elegimos, recordarnos por qué elegimos lo que sí elegimos desde un principio... ¿pero y si aún así no estamos contentos? entonces es probable que hayamos elegido mal. No, no es imposible, uno puede pensar que está eligiendo lo mejor y darse cuenta después de un tiempo que se equivocó. Bueno, no pasa nada. Sí, trae sus consecuencias equivocarse al tomar una desición, pero es algo que pasa siempre. Lo importante es volver al punto en que se abrieron todos los distintos caminos y pobrar otro, esperando que esta vez el que escojamos sí sea el que nos llene lo mejor posible.

I'm OK

Once upon a time there was a girl
In her early years she had to learn
How to grow up living in a war that she called home
Never know just where to turn for shelter from the storm
Hurt me to see the pain across my mother’s face
Everytime my father’s fist would put her in her place
Hearing all the yelling I would cry up in my room
Hoping it would be over soon

I often wonder why I carry all this guilt
When it’s you that helped me put up all these walls I’ve built
Shadows stir at night through a crack in the door
The echo of a broken child screaming please no more
Daddy, don’t you understand the damage you have done
To you it’s just a memory, but for me it still lives on

Bruises fade father but the pain remains the same
And I still remember how you kept me so afraid
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday
And I’m ok
I’m ok



The pain remains, but I choose to let all those memories go, because they cause me fear. Yes, the things that put me down are still there, and there are even more things waiting for me somewhere in a dark corner of this world, but right now, in this second of my tormented life, I want to be ok and I am ok, and that's all that matters. You still don't want me, I still don't know what I'm going to do about my life, I still fear many things, but life passes me by and I'm wasting it. Depresion continues, but at least I know is going to stop in some moment. Somehow I know I'm ok

Reflecciones III

"What the hell... gotta rest"

Quiero pensar que realmente hay un punto en que las cosas cambian, y que es verdad que a cada uno le toca su turno para ser feliz. Por eso aún espero, por eso aún sigo viva... ¡¿Por qué?! Juro que intento, intento reconocer que mi vida no es tan mala, y que puedo ser feliz con lo que tengo, pero entonces ciertas personas me sarandean en la cara lo que siempre quise como diciendo "miralo todo lo que quieras que nunca lo vas a tener, porque no lo merecés, no lo valés"



¿Será que de verdad no lo valgo? ¿será que aspiro a demasiado por lo poco que soy? ya no me entiendo... ya no me quiero escuchar más. No quiero pensar más porque se me ocurren las peores ideas para salir de todo esto.

"Moon Baby" by Godsmack

Let's take a blast to the moon baby
I sit around wishing you will
How i'm craving you
Every time i'm near you
I always wanna swallow you down
I'll be right here if you need me
In my life, I'll need you here
Don't ask why, i'll never disappear
Why is it everyday that I feel the pain?
Let's take a trip to the stars far away
Where were you when I was down?
Staring into the dead
My pain is caused by my pleasure
And my soul mate lives in your body
I can't get you out of my head
It never goes away
In my life, I'll need you here
Don't ask why, i'll never disappear
In your eyes you can bid me farewell
Don't ever try to understand the situation
Why is it everyday that I feel the pain?
It always comes when I least expect it
When i'm looking for love,
I seem to be regretting it
Why is it everyday that I feel the pain?
I had nothing to do with this
Tolerance, tolerance for pain
And we can't have weakness
No, I can't stop
I had nothing to do with this
And we can't have weakness
Tolerance for pain

I sooo love this song... ^_^

Reflecciones II

A veces uno se siente demasiado cómodo con una situación. A veces ciertas situaciones no te hacen mal, pero no te hacen necesariamente bien tampoco. A veces siento que hay ciertas cosas que quisiera dejar, pero realmente no quiero. Es que si me quedo sin ese poquito también voy a estar mal...

En conclusión, todo hace mal?? no hay un punto en el que las cosas se dan bien??

A veces querer mandar todo a la mierda, pero sabés que si lo mandás a la mierda lo vas a extrañar, y vas a querer que vuelva, entonces cuando la perdes, te das cuenta que esa situación no era tan mala como pensabas... sí, ya sé. Yo estoy aun más confundida.

Ya estoy muy cansada... creo que mejor descanso y dejo que lo que deba pasar pase... total no tengo nada por perder, pero podría ganar mucho...

Reflecciones

Maybe I was right after all...

Siempre pensé que en realidad yo no existo; floto. Me muevo de un lugar a otro buscando algo que me cuide; buscando un lugar al que pertenecer, una razón por la que ser... Looking for a reason to live ends up being a reason to live in itself... Encontrar eso que tanto busco, o sea un motivo por el que justificar mi existencia, trmina justificando mi existencia. Y es triste, porque siempre quise suponer que habría más.

Recorrí un camino muy largo y al final me encontré con un espejo, que me revela sola y con aún más camino por andar, pero que en realidad es algo duro e impenetrable que no me deja pasar... podría romperlo para pasar para el otro lado, pero y si me lastimo? y si lo que hay del otro lado es peor? y si no hay nada???

¿Qué hace uno cuando llega a esos puntos en los que hay que decidir? pensar... aunque duela.

What are you planning to do with me?

Why do you hate me like that, when all I've ever done is loving you; given you everything I have and everything I do not have, only for you to be happy?

Are you playing with me? Is there a secret awful plan burning in your mind and filling your thoughts? A plan to destroy me; a plan to bring me down... even lower than I already am?

What have I done to you? I'll leave if you want me to... just ask for it and I'll do anything.

Gracias pero no gracias

Hace tiempo que veo que mi forma de ser es lo que me mata.
Sí, lo sé. soy un desastre; una total contradicción. Pero aún así me gusta ser así. Me hace única, diferente. No me doy lástima a mi misma porque yo elegí este camino. Dí y aún doy todo... de eso no puedo dudar y jamás me voy a arrepentir de nada que haga. Es que doy todo, aun cuando no reciba nada.

An Angel Out Of Time

Sleep will not come to this tired body now
Peace will not come to this lonely heart
There are some things I'll live without
But I want you to know that I need you right now

I need you tonite
I steal a kiss from your sleeping shadow moves
cause I'll always miss you wherever you go
and I'll always need you more than you could ever need me

I need someone to ease my mind
but sometimes a someone is so hard to find

And I'd do anything to keep you here tonite
and i'd say anything to make you feel alright
and i'll be anything to keep you here tonite
'cause i want you to stay with me
I need you tonite

You'd come to me like an angel out of time
as I play the part of a saint on my knees

There are some things I'll live without
butIi want you to know
that I need you right now

I suffer my desire
suffer my desire
suffer my desire for you

Some things...

I see it. Oh, yes, I do. There's no use running; it'll get you. Just wait and see.

All this will do its effect, just like it did on me.

Don't bother, darling... some things just can't be hidden so easily...

I'm Sick of You

On my hands and knees again
Begging for disease again
I'll do what I want, do what I can
To make it to this promised land
Your baby does gotta do
Only what you want her to

This is a warning
Whores of Hollywood

Do what I want, I do what I can
I'll do what I want, I do what I can
'Cause I'm sick of love and I'm sick of death
Sick of life and I'm sick of this
Stabbing so in love with you

No more love for you and you
I'm always on my hands and knees
Free?

This is a warning
Whores of Hollywood

'Cause I'm sick of love...
Sick of love and I'm sick of death
Sick of life and I'm sick of this

Let´s Save Each Other

Whose eyes am I behind?

I don't recognize anything that I see

Whose skin is this design?

I don't want this to be the way that you see me

I don't understand anything anymore

And this web that I'm tired of

Is taking me right up these walls

That I climb up to get to your story

It's anything but ordinary

And when the world is on its knees with me

It's fine

And when I come to the rescue

I get nothing but left behind

Everybody seems to be getting what they need

Where's mine?

'Cause you're what I need so badly

But I'm anything but ordinary

Can you save me from this world of mine?

Before I get myself arrested with this expectation

You are the one, look what you've done

What have you done?

This is not some kind of joke, you're just a kid

You weren't ready for what you did, no . . .

I think I'm trying to save the world for you

You've been saving me too

We could just stay in and save each other

I love you still

Te juro que estoy tratando... hago lo más que puedo.

¿Qué hice para que me trates así? ¿tanto te repulsa verme? ¿tanto me odias? Por favor, no quiero descubrir que estás jugando nomás...

Perdón, se que desde hace un tiempo ya vengo molestando demasiado. Someday I'll leave, I promise. Just give me some time to find the courage...

Question

What should I do?

I've got this question of something new, something good for me, but I still want that other thing too much, too much to feel good with anything else. I don't know what to do... I don't really feel like it, so I guess I'll say no... I've got nothing to lose already so...

I don't know. It will all depend on my mood at the moment...